The Little Book of Zen Healing by Paula Arai

Author:Paula Arai [Arai, Paula]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Shambhala
Published: 2023-08-15T00:00:00+00:00

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I know an American couple who were delighted to welcome their first child, a son, into the world. When he was born, his parents joined the countless people initiated into the joys and fears of parenting. They checked his temperature if he felt too warm, and they wondered if the crying meant hunger, pain, or a tooth coming in. Every day was a stream of questions. Seeing their calmly sleeping baby, more exquisite than anything they’d ever seen, an incomparably powerful sense of love surged through their hearts. After the first year, their confidence increased, though the questions did not subside. After the second year, they noticed their questions were somewhat different from most others with whom they compared notes. By three years in, they began to wonder if they were doing something wrong. The behaviors most other parents enjoyed or complained about seemed to be significantly more advanced than their son’s. An avalanche of questions threatened to crush them when he was about to start school. Though they accepted and recognized their son responded better with approaches and support that were different from their friends’ children, they had a hard time receiving support from the public school nearby. When they got married, they had specifically bought that house with the school in mind, envisioning walking to school together with their future children. Though they had many meetings with the well-meaning principal and kindly teacher, it was painful to see their beautiful son being treated as odd and dim, especially in social dynamics with his new classmates. They were advised to have him repeat kindergarten.

By the time he was in high school, the parents had learned to be fierce advocates for their son. The toll on them was hidden from public view, though. Arguments waged in steely, hushed voices to be out of earshot of their son erupted more frequently into piercing shrieks. With each passing year, their alcohol consumption started earlier and earlier in the day as the exhaustion that came from tending to their child’s needs did not ease up. Determining what was an essential purchase was an ongoing source of moral anguish and constant tension between the parents, especially as they realized they would need to finance care for their beloved son after they were gone. Was it loving or selfish to get anything nice for themselves to enjoy, even a birthday or anniversary gift?

Yet as each spoonful of strawberry ice cream—his favorite—melted in his mouth, his smile of pure delight never failed to light up their hearts. Each time he calmly greeted a stranger, a cascade of relief released a flood of rejuvenating energy. Though they loved him no less when goodnights had to be whispered from the doorway to his room, each time he was comfortable allowing them to give him a hug and a kiss goodnight, jubilation soared.

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